Liminal. It doesn’t sound threatening, and many times, we enter the liminal world unconsciously – when we cross a threshold, take a new job, take a hike into an unknown wilderness. It’s also when there are transitions in life. Puberty is one, eldering is another. (Is that a word? It should be, fits well for those of us who are Eldering. Becoming an elder.)
Merriam Webster defines liminal as: “1.of, relating to, or situated at a sensory threshold : barely perceptible or capable of eliciting a response. 2.of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition : IN-BETWEEN, TRANSITIONAL.”
Liminal is where I work – where patients are when they are hospitalized, dealing with a crisis, at a threshold in their life. The word is new to me, although it’s been around since 1887. Palliative Care is new to health care, although it’s been around since the 1950’s, it became a specialty in 2004. Twenty years is not long enough for our systems to embrace the concept as standard. So, while my patients are in a liminal period, so is the health care delivery system. No wonder it’s so hard for us.
Richard Rohr, in his work on Liminal Space reflects: “If we don’t encounter liminal space in our lives, we start idealizing normalcy.” He defines normalcy: “we often remain trapped in what we call normalcy—“the way things are.” Life then revolves around problem-solving, fixing, explaining, and taking sides with winners and losers. It can be a pretty circular and even nonsensical existence.“(Rohr, CAC)
Most of us like living in our comfort zone, like having things stable. Even people who live with amazing challenges – cancer, dialysis, heart failure – learn to live with “the way things are.” It’s no wonder we are so adverse to talking about hard stuff, to see what might be just around the corner for our health care, our living needs.
The Emergency Room is a liminal world. Hospitals are too, although some people have to stay for weeks. But as with other liminal worlds, once across the threshold, for those with chronic illnesses, we can’t go back. The only “door” is to the future, a future that may look profoundly different from the “normalcy” of earlier.
Rohr continues: “Whenever we’re led out of normalcy into sacred, open space, it’s going to feel like suffering, because it’s letting go of what we’re used to. This is always painful, but part of us has to die if we are ever to grow larger (John 12:24). If we’re not willing to let go and die to our small self, we won’t enter into any new or sacred space.” CAC, Sacred (liminal) world
Recently I told a patient’s family member “Your life changed when your Dad came to the Emergency Room.” She said no, it was his life. A week later, as she prepared to bring her father home on hospice, she asked to talk to me. “I couldn’t believe what you said. I didn’t want to believe it. It all happened so quick.”
Leonard Cohen uses different words. His lyrics have been the mantra for many of us baby boomers to live by. From “Anthem“
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in“
In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between them, there are doors.”― William Blake (Good Reads)
We can’t anticipate when the threshold of liminality will appear in front of us, but we can know some truths. Elders get sick. We die. Those of us with chronic illness will suffer complications. We can let our light shine on the “crack in everything.” Our light that helps us see leaves turn gold, ice form on rivers, smiles as a grandmother hugs her newborn grandchild – we can cross the threshold into a new sacred space.
Marianne Williamson's quote about our light can help those of us who are afraid to open the door, to cross the threshold out of a liminal space. Here it is on YouTube if you like. (Pretty wonderful video!) "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
If you are in a liminal space, can you see it as a sacred space, to let your light and the light of others help you see the doorway, the threshold?
See you back here next week. I’m heading to the river, the cottonwoods coming into their glory.
